Wednesday, April 2, 2014

I'm Keeping the Tent

And the sleeping bag, and the carpets too! In other words, how not to date a Saudi guy!  Most women here (and many other places) would balk at dating a guy from Saudi Arabia.  Not me! Oh no, I jumped right in and only after the first weekend together, did I begin to wonder. 

First, how does one meet a guy from a country you aren't allowed to visit, drive in or show your hair?  Why in Qatar of course!  Many Saudi Arabian men go to Bahrain to go out as the opportunities in Saudi are what we would call limited.  Apparently, Qatar is also on the list of places to go as well.  I met this one at an off-roading event. I didn't think much about it because he was from Saudi Arabia and in a thobe.  Although, I did think he was good looking, but figured he was married (as most Arabs are by a certain age).  I should of listened to my initial instinct.

I met him again a few weeks later at another event.  This time it was at a bar.  And no, he wasn't drinking.  We started talking and that surreal thing happened where the whole world fades into the background and it is just the two of you talking.  Wait no, that might have been the two mojitos...  Anyway, I say I am hungry and he suggests we go eat.  In the elevator at the restaurant he gives me a brief kiss.  Later he holds my hand. Both of which are not allowed here and definitely not allowed between a Muslim man and a Christian woman.  I end up inviting him to two other things that weekend.  We spend most of the weekend together.  He promises to return the next weekend.

But I begin to wonder, should I be doing this?  Could I get into trouble?  Is he married (he says he is divorced)?  What would happen if this got serious?  I did some research and learned some important questions to ask besides the obvious one. I got nervous as the hour of his arrival came that next weekend.  After we met and had dinner I brought up my concerns.  I asked if he would ever tell his family about me?  Would they be okay with me?  I know very serious questions for a second meeting, but I knew I had to ask before anything went further.  He said he couldn't tell his family.  They were too conservative for that.  That told me all I needed to know.  This was never going anywhere.  I also asked several times about him being married.  I got the long version of why he wasn't married. 

Everything was telling me to end it.  But I didn't.  I spent the whole weekend with him again. I was given a tent, a sleeping bag and two carpets. We had talked about camping, but I didn't expect to receive my own kit of Saudi camping gear! Saturday night after he left, I met a friend of his. Cause Doha is tiny!  Our mutual friend mentioned to him I was seeing his friend and he says, but he's married!  After pulling some teeth, I get it out of him that he is technically still married.  He may not consider himself married, because him and his two(!) wives don't live together.  Lesson learned!

So my advice to any woman dating in Doha, ask, ask and ask his friends! And keep the tent!

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